2021's Most Masculine Place
The Ghost of
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No Whining Baby One Piece Bodysuit
$19.99
CHRISTMAS SALE: 100% OF OUR PROFITS WILL BE DONATED TO The National CASA/GAL Association For Children. Ensure the next 18 years of your life are as stress free as possible by subliminally implanting your child with the urge to not whine. This super comfortable unisex infant bodysuit is the perfect purchase for every family man, and for you fellas who date a lot of single moms, we recommend buying at least five at a time. 100% of our profits for sales on this item will be donated to The National CASA/GAL Association For Children. The Court Appointed Special Advocates + Guardians Ad Litem give a legal voice for children. CLICK HERE to learn more about the amazing work they do. • 5.0 oz., 100% combed ring-spun cotton in a 1x1 baby rib, heather color is 88% cotton/ 12% polyester • Reinforced three-snap closure on binding • Lap shoulders for easy changing • Blank product sourced from India or Haiti 
No Whining Laptop Sleeve
$25.00 - $28.00
CHRISTMAS SALE: 100% OF OUR PROFITS WILL BE DONATED TO The National CASA/GAL Association For Children. Let people know, NO WHINING! To prevent any scratch marks, this laptop sleeve contains an internal padded zipper and its interior is fully lined with faux fur. What’s more, it’s made from a material that’s resistant to water, oil, and heat, making sure your laptop sleeve looks as sharp as you any day of the week! 20% of our profits for sales on this item will be donated to The National CASA/GAL Association For Children. The Court Appointed Special Advocates + Guardians Ad Litem give a legal voice for children. CLICK HERE to learn more about the amazing work they do. • 100% neoprene • Product weight: 13''—6.49 oz. (220 g) 15''—7.67 oz. (260 g) • Snug fit • Faux fur interior lining • Lightweight and resistant to water, oil, and heat • Top-loading zippered enclosure with two sliders • Padded zipper binding • Lets people know, NO WHINING! 
Meaty Ba(r-15)on/No Whining pillow case
$27.50 - $30.50
CHRISTMAS SALE: 100% OF OUR PROFITS WILL BE DONATED TO The Second Amendment Foundation!!! A pillow case for the true renaissance man. I mean, it has an AR-15 made out of bacon and a no whining sign. 100% guaranteed to provide some great pillow talk, baby. 100% of our profits from the sales of this item will be donated to The Second Amendment Foundation. • 100% polyester • Hidden zipper • Machine-washable case • Blank product components in the US sourced from China and the US • Blank product components in the EU sourced from China and Poland • Guarantee subject to how boring we find you. 
"Recycled" Meaty Ba(r-15)con T-Shirt
$30.00 - $31.00
CHRISTMAS SALE: 100% OF OUR PROFITS WILL BE DONATED TO The Second Amendment Foundation. Make yourself look like a trustworthy guy who would never look at the type of stuff you do when you're all alone. This recycled unisex shirt isn't just fashionable, it doesn't just promote one of the most sensible pieces of legislation which has been torn asunder by crooked politicians over the years, it is also good for the Earth. Makes a great gift due to the caveat of bragging about the eco-friendly thing, or just wear one yourself and use it as a conversation starter! 100% of our profits from the sales of this item will be donated to The Second Amendment Foundation. • 60% recycled cotton, 40% post-consumer recycled polyester • Fabric weight: 5.3 oz/y² (179.7 g/m²) • 24 singles • 1x1 rib-knit neckband • Shoulder to shoulder taping • Blank product sourced from India This t-shirt is made from recycled cotton scraps and upcycled polyester rPET, saving reusable textiles and plastic bottles from ending up in landfills. Buy this recycled t-shirt, or admit you want everyone you know to die! |
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So please, enjoy the pillowy goodness within, but afterwards, check around the site, and see what you may learn. Who knows, maybe you'll pick up a skill or two which will earn you gorgeous goodness in real life, so you don't have to be some guy doing what you do behind a computer screen three times a day. Yes, we're counting. |
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Your Money Doesn't Just Go To
Buy Us More Brisket & Bullets When you're looking at our merchandise, you'll notice that each product has an attached non profit to it. That is because, with every purchase, we donate 20% of our profit (10% from Mark and 10% from Vanessa) to whichever non profit to attached to that product. Giving back to your community and helping those who help others are two of the most masculine things anybody could do, so now and forever, Bacon Tits Guns and no whining will always do our part in doing just that. The organizations we choose to help will usually be based around three things: helping the less fortunate learn new skills, protecting the second amendment and helping both sick and underprivileged children. If you don't like teaching a man to fish, helping kids, or protecting the second amendment, why are you on this site even? Unless, you're a communist spy? |
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A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed