I really hate to admit it, but the following statement is 100% true: The majority of my adult life, I have been a child. Hell, to be honest, I’m barely 18 even at the way too old for college girls with as poor as I am age of 36. Not surprisingly to anyone with their act together, my priorities have historically been as follows:
And that’s about it. I got pretty good at Left 4 Dead 2 there for a while, which is coincidentally where I met the #TeamMcCandless leader Mark, that fat bozo who is simultaneously two different types of boomers at once. If you don’t get that joke, it’s okay, good on you for not wasting your life on video games.
Sure, I may be downplaying my past a little bit. There have been a few “money making vehicles” I participated in afterall, but unfortunately for my pocket book in 2021, I never took any of them seriously enough. There were child’s dreams, and I tackled them the way a child would, and not some kid competent enough to star in Home Alone either. I’m talking about handling my business with the utmost narcissism and ego-driven hedonism of a teenager who's as angst ridden as they are horny. My four priorities were always just that, my four priorities. Not succeeding in business, not saving money or exhibiting fiscal responsibility, not investing or educating myself, just getting laid, smoking pot while sometimes drinking liquor, eating expensive food and having women pay for it. Looking back at it, I sometimes experience these hard to describe surreal moments where some screaming, desperate voice in the back of my head wants my past to be something from some villain from SVU; a momentary confusion and that who I truly am is a completely different person than who I have been my entire life. But, as that thing growing out of that dude’s stomach in Total Recall said, you are what you do, and to that end, the majority of my life I have been an incredibly lazy monster.
- Get laid
- Smoke pot (+ sometimes drink liquor)
- Eat expensive food
- Have women pay for it
And that’s about it. I got pretty good at Left 4 Dead 2 there for a while, which is coincidentally where I met the #TeamMcCandless leader Mark, that fat bozo who is simultaneously two different types of boomers at once. If you don’t get that joke, it’s okay, good on you for not wasting your life on video games.
Sure, I may be downplaying my past a little bit. There have been a few “money making vehicles” I participated in afterall, but unfortunately for my pocket book in 2021, I never took any of them seriously enough. There were child’s dreams, and I tackled them the way a child would, and not some kid competent enough to star in Home Alone either. I’m talking about handling my business with the utmost narcissism and ego-driven hedonism of a teenager who's as angst ridden as they are horny. My four priorities were always just that, my four priorities. Not succeeding in business, not saving money or exhibiting fiscal responsibility, not investing or educating myself, just getting laid, smoking pot while sometimes drinking liquor, eating expensive food and having women pay for it. Looking back at it, I sometimes experience these hard to describe surreal moments where some screaming, desperate voice in the back of my head wants my past to be something from some villain from SVU; a momentary confusion and that who I truly am is a completely different person than who I have been my entire life. But, as that thing growing out of that dude’s stomach in Total Recall said, you are what you do, and to that end, the majority of my life I have been an incredibly lazy monster.
This review isn’t about my attempting to espouse my guilt away nor entertain you with tales from my trashy past. Nay, this article is about the future, and the present. I guess technically the incredibly recent past as well. This article is about reviewing the feeling of discovering a career, and the potential possibilities that can bring. This article is about coming out from the cold to find the warmth only steady, legal income can provide. The last thing I’ll say about my life long ago (in this article) but I can remember about 3 years ago, then President Trump speaking of one day all American’s knowing the dignity of work. I can’t remember the exact quote, and I couldn’t find it on Google, but I scoffed as loud as a displeased soccer Mom at a Starbucks when I heard it. Dignity of work? Please! That was for normal people, that wasn’t for me. I was special, I banged ladies and they made sure I was taken care of. They bought me dinners and groceries and gave me cars and paid my bills. But now, I understand fully what he meant at the time. (writer’s note: I struggled whether or not to capitalize “he” in “fully what he meant” just to drive commies up the wall that I was capitalizing “he” for Trump, deifying him.)
Work is important. Forget all that emotional mumbo jumbo about how every human needs a sense of belonging; I need a sense of belonging like I need higher cholesterol levels. It does seem as if a lot of people do need that, but I personally don’t happen to be one of them. Having a trade, a career, a skill in which you can provide services for your community while providing financial security for yourself and your loved ones is important. It isn’t even important who, or what, your loved ones are. Maybe they are a wife and kids, or some pets, or just hookers you like to bang all the time because you’re a degenerate. It doesn’t matter, they all cost money. Even if you are anti-social and think you don’t need any human contact, well, those drugs you are on probably cost money, as does whatever weird, nerdy hobby you use to pass the time.
I used to think having sugar momma’s meant I was cool, that I was masculine and alpha. I realize now it was the opposite; it couldn’t have been more of a beta and feminine idea. It was the epitome of weakness, to rely solely on what I can squeeze out of others. I wasn’t hunting, I was forcing others to hunt for me. I was using every trick in the book to stay home and be a housewife without a spouse. What is masculine, what is cool, is figuring out a way to contribute to the world around you. You have to hunt for the opportunities and you have to work to not waste them. Otherwise, what are you, besides just some little bitch, for a lack of a better phrase.
Getting a career, it’s five stars. It’s A+. It’s both Siskel & Ebert giving a thumbs up. You feel as good as you do on halfway decent cocaine, except there is no comedown or that constant craving to go do another bump (or massive line). If you think working at a low end restaurant is a career, you’re wrong unless you’re training and doing everything you can to improve your cooking skills in your off time with the plan of moving on up to a fancy eatery. If you think working a cash register is a career, you’re wrong unless you’re training and doing everything you can to improve your business skills in your off time with the plan on moving up to an upper management position. You can’t just meander through life and expect to enjoy yourself, no matter how many drugs or cheap sex you consume. Trust me, I’ve done plenty of that, and no matter how hot my sugar momma was or how fancy of restaurants she would take me to, no matter how nice the suits I was bought or how fancy of the gifts I got were, none of it felt quite as good as actually figuring out a way to make money for myself. So, I highly recommend it.
Work is important. Forget all that emotional mumbo jumbo about how every human needs a sense of belonging; I need a sense of belonging like I need higher cholesterol levels. It does seem as if a lot of people do need that, but I personally don’t happen to be one of them. Having a trade, a career, a skill in which you can provide services for your community while providing financial security for yourself and your loved ones is important. It isn’t even important who, or what, your loved ones are. Maybe they are a wife and kids, or some pets, or just hookers you like to bang all the time because you’re a degenerate. It doesn’t matter, they all cost money. Even if you are anti-social and think you don’t need any human contact, well, those drugs you are on probably cost money, as does whatever weird, nerdy hobby you use to pass the time.
I used to think having sugar momma’s meant I was cool, that I was masculine and alpha. I realize now it was the opposite; it couldn’t have been more of a beta and feminine idea. It was the epitome of weakness, to rely solely on what I can squeeze out of others. I wasn’t hunting, I was forcing others to hunt for me. I was using every trick in the book to stay home and be a housewife without a spouse. What is masculine, what is cool, is figuring out a way to contribute to the world around you. You have to hunt for the opportunities and you have to work to not waste them. Otherwise, what are you, besides just some little bitch, for a lack of a better phrase.
Getting a career, it’s five stars. It’s A+. It’s both Siskel & Ebert giving a thumbs up. You feel as good as you do on halfway decent cocaine, except there is no comedown or that constant craving to go do another bump (or massive line). If you think working at a low end restaurant is a career, you’re wrong unless you’re training and doing everything you can to improve your cooking skills in your off time with the plan of moving on up to a fancy eatery. If you think working a cash register is a career, you’re wrong unless you’re training and doing everything you can to improve your business skills in your off time with the plan on moving up to an upper management position. You can’t just meander through life and expect to enjoy yourself, no matter how many drugs or cheap sex you consume. Trust me, I’ve done plenty of that, and no matter how hot my sugar momma was or how fancy of restaurants she would take me to, no matter how nice the suits I was bought or how fancy of the gifts I got were, none of it felt quite as good as actually figuring out a way to make money for myself. So, I highly recommend it.